6/13/2022
Dating Culture In Usa
Dating Culture In Usa 8,4/10 4633 votes
By Andy So these are four important cultural forces in the early part of the 20th century that assisted in moving our culture from the older courtship system that existed prior to the late 19th century, to a courtship system that includes “dating,” which, I will argue in the next article, is much more ambiguous and confusing. We say dating is kind of like porn - you know it when you see it. This finding comes from the 2014 State of Dating in America report, commissioned by JDate and ChristianMingle. A total of 2,647 respondents between the ages of 18 and 59 took a 20-minute online survey about their dating habits, expectations and turnoffs.
Sometimes, when I’m not fantasizing about insanely gorgeous foreign femalescoming to my city in droves or explaining to simpletons why The Terminatordoesn’t stop somewhere to take a piss, I think about why I haven’t dated anAmerican woman in over seven years. That may seem depressing, but actually,when I think of the last American psycho woman I dated, I am reminded ofwhy I don’t date stateside anymore. The last American woman I dated was full ofgames, spitefulness, numerous issues and went from zero to f*ck off in ten seconds.A year after that debacle, I couldn’t even get a number from some bombshellwhom I had thought was genuinely showing interest in me. This is only the tipof the iceberg in what is wrong with the dating scene in the USA.
Dating in the U.S. is ass backwards, dysfunctional and mediocre. Ok, it’s adownright disaster. The result is a dating scene that is a completely agonizingexperience for men. This is the case because women have beyond plentiful datingoptions in America. Not only do they have too many choices, they are constantlygetting approached by men, so they either do not like such attention and rejectevery man, or they are very selective, and simply like the attention andturning men down to feed their already colossal egos.
Men in America do not have such options and virtually no prospects forrelationships because there is a scarcity of high-quality women in America.This is due to feminism and the obesity epidemic. American women have suchridiculously high and unrealistic standards, and are “independent” enough notto need a man, that they are weeding out several “losers” per week. No matterwhat a man says or does, he’s never good enough for women. As a result, anastronomical number of men are a dime a dozen in American culture and they stand a better chance of being attacked by a peanut butter-covered Pterodactyl than they do of getting a date.
There is simply too much competition in the American dating scene. Too manydudes are competing for too few chicks, so there is an imbalance, a screwed upand unfair ratio of single men to single women. The American dating landscapeis like the job market: competitive, cynical, frustrating and harsh. So basically, a man has to bust his ass in school, break his balls workingon that résumé while searching for work in a competitive jobmarket, put himself on the line daily at that job he worked so hard to get, andwhen he’s not working, he gets to spend his personal life and free time in “theunemployment line,” competing with other men for the golden fleece. So, in aculture that shames and emasculates men, it’s all work and no reward.
If there is a reward, it is short-lived. WhatI mean is that if a man is fortunate enough to get a date with an attractivewoman with a good personality and even be in a relationship with her, he hasnot only played enough games and his cards right during a very small window ofopportunity, but he has walked a tightrope and passed numerous sh*t tests justto be with her. Or it was by chance and a stroke of luck, meaning the starsaligned perfectly and getting a date is once in a blue moon for him. But thereis a high probability that the relationship won’t last because again, with theabundant dating choices women have in the U.S., the man will be treated like heis expendable. Whether or not he walks on eggshells in the relationship, shewill most likely become bored for the silliest reasons and leave him, but notbefore she’s gotten some free dinners or cleaned out his bank account andeverything he earned after a divorce from a marriage that lasted two years orless.
In the more likely scenario that a man landsa date with a marginally attractive or average woman, he has lowered hisstandards because he has given in to the American standard for dating andrelationships, or he has become so sexually frustrated, that he has resorted todesperation for the sake of getting laid. He has also lowered his standardsbecause the average woman he is with likely has a weight problem, so he haslost some of his pride because of his chubby chasing, and probably doesn’t havea problem taking her out to and unhealthy dining joint as long as he’s gettingsupposed companionship and physical satisfaction. Even if she doesn’t have aweight problem, she likely has issues like alcoholism, debt, drug abuse, mentalillness and trauma from past relationships gone bad. She’ll be shady andtwo-faced so that she can conceal these problems at the start of therelationship, and once the man finds out, the relationship he is in is more ofa dire situation than he ever anticipated.
Then there are men who have no pride, nostandards and no shame, so they will date and screw anything with a pulse.Disturbingly, I have seen more of this over the years. I see seemingly normalmen with hideous and obese girlfriends and I think to myself, “What could hepossibly see in her?” Have standards plummeted to the point where the amygdalatakes over and eliminates inhibitions in the name of chasing tail? I admit thatwhenever I see such a sight, I have to look away in disgust or laugh so hard, Ihave a back spasm.
When the aforementioned scenarios do notoccur, men are subject to the most nightmarish, Twilight Zone-type dating endeavorsand experiences. They find themselves in a kind of dystopia, a conundrum ofno-win situations. Perilous paths toward disappointment, frustration, heartache,loneliness and squashed dreams are common. Finger-pointing abounds andfittingly, problems are never solved. One’s sanity and physical well-being are underattack in this maelstrom of fecal matter.
Good American women do exist, but they arethe exception, not the norm. So, not only are such women extremely rare, butthey are always taken. They have always been taken and, judging by the currentstate of affairs in the American dating landscape, they won’t be otherwiseanytime soon. Even in the rare case that an attractive American woman withoutbaggage is single, strange as that may seem, she is not single for long. Hence,the window of opportunity is very small for merely approaching her and asking her for a phonenumber.
Even if you’re a man successfully getting aphone number, chances are it will be bogus or she will purposely screen hercalls just to play head games or because she subscribes to the fact that youare a creep by association. You’ll still have to treat getting a number likebuying a gun; there has to be a waiting period until that first call, becauseshowing too much interest is characteristic of a psychopath in her eyes. If shedoes manage to answer her phone, there is usually a, “I’ll call you back” whichmeans never, and that she won’t want to speak to you ever again, regardless ofhow many dates you got with her. If she is not playing these sort of games, shecan easily tell you that she’s seeing someone or has a boyfriend just to nothave to deal with you any further or she cares enough about your ego not todamage it too much. When that doesn’t happen, she’ll tell you, ‘no’ with a sideorder of piss off, or she’ll ignore you like you don’t even exist.
To perpetuate this even further, there simplyexists this fear of approaching women in America because of a woman’s demeanor,a shield, a kind of an aura she gives off that indicates she doesn’t want to beapproached. If a man ignores this, he is more than likely to get berated inpublic or, even worse, get a fabricated sexual harassment or false rape claimagainst him, and sent to jail. The type of venues don’t matter either. If awoman doesn’t have at least two men talking to her at the gym, she wants towork out alone and probably has a big fat rock on her finger. Either that orher steroid-filled, tattooed boyfriend is lurking somewhere close by and will rearrangeyou beyond belief and repair of you approach her.That’s another preposterous issue in theAmerican dating game; women not wanting anything to do with nice guys, or atthe very least, treating them like absolute sh*t. Being kind good-hearted isnot valued in the U.S. Remember, things are so ass backwards in America, that good is bad. So keepin mind that being a nice guy will get you nowhere and nothing. The guy in thebackwards hat and Kobe jersey with the tattoos has priority over the guy whodresses well, grooms himself well, shows up to work regularly and on time, treatsothers with respect and takes care of his health.
Being nice also takes a back seat to materialism and superficiality. Fartoo often and too easily, women fall for a man with a six-figure income, fancycar and a huge house in the suburbs. If she is not chasing that, she is after hischiseled good looks. I’m talking about her standards being so high, the man hasto be Calvin Klein model material or from Sparta. Either way, the lack of substanceor character that a woman pursues is indicative of her shallowness and distancefrom reality.
What I’ve learned is that women rationalize such decisions by saying theywant a man who will take care of them and who is also healthy. They desiresomeone who has the financial means to start and support a family, disregardingthe fact that the man making all that money might not necessarily be the besthusband or father. In the general sense, losers are also desired by womenbecause women want a sense of adventure in such incomplete men. Women see suchmen as “projects,” seeing some potential behind all the alcoholism, cheating,drug abuse and juvenile behavior, and thinking they can change him. They wouldrather waste precious time on the worst of the worst and be treated poorly inhopes that he will change for her.
More often than not, the change she anticipates doesn’t happen and she endsup breaking up with Mr. Wrong because she says she wants a man, not a boy. Thencomes the clamor of, “Where are all the good men?” and “Where are the real men?”She suddenly realizes the mistake she’s made of continually chasing the wrongmen and starts scrambling to recover herself in time to locate the nice guy sheput in the friend zone. She’ll claim that she was confused, had to find herselfor didn’t even see such malicious things coming from the other bozos. What women don’t realize is that by playing these kind of Mickey Mousegames, they are playing with fire. When it “grows out of control,” that is whenany decent man they have chased off has moved on or possibly still waits forher. Women say they want nice men, but that is only partially true. The want anice guy only after they have been f*cked over by their fair share of a**holes.At that point, they have learned their lesson, and whether or not the nice guywants a used car with high mileage is entirely up to him.
Dating Culture In Us
We will now begin our descent into the landof the leftovers. Beware the cesspool of skanks, tanks and single mothers. Aftertheir efforts of chasing quality women have failed, this is all men have leftto choose from in ‘Murika. This is the clearance aisle in the dating store. Theseare the consolation prizes for valiant efforts that went unrecognized by goodgirls. The worst tasting food item on the menu that nobody ever orders.As much as attractive women are prime targets of many men, decent men arethe focus of undesirable females. In my experience, I, not a world classathlete, but nowhere near Fat Albert size, have had to dodge a plethora of PlainJanes, has-beens, never-wases, also-rans and former Miss Dunkin’ Donutscontestants. The only time I have ever been approached by attractive women iswhen they “ambushed” me to introduce me to their friend who just got out ofrehab or when they took me aside and subtly pointed out to me their plumpfriend. Even worse, some friends show me photos of their single friends andwhen I look at the photos, I can see why their friends are still single. Ofcourse, I decline the sh*tty offers, and that is why the most unpleasant womenin the dating scene have their own, albeit lousy representatives and “marketingdepartments.”
Unpleasant women, especially fat women, are pissed off that men aren’tapproaching them and they will bitch about real men doing their own thing. Froma man going to the movies on his own to a guys’ night out, such women are undersome illusion that they should be a part of the action. They desire to lockdown a man before the cat days arrive, yet they don’t want to make anyimprovements for themselves, they want men to accept them as is, and thus,offer nothing for a relationship. I was once invited to an awards banquet andwas allowed to bring one guest, and before I could even start asking prospects,one woman, should have stayed away from the buffet table, gave me apresentation including a speech and photos, as to why she should be my date forthat event. Needless to say, I respectfully declined, but the real reason thishappened was because of not only the American dating mess, but the unfortunatefat acceptance movement.
Dating Culture In Canada
You would think, after all this nonsense, thatthere would be some help, some hope or some sort of solution. There would haveto be a light at the end of the tunnel. There would have to be some sort ofconflict resolution. There is, but you won’t find it from your friends, family,books, magazines, television or around the corner. What ensues is more bullsh*tthat exacerbates an already precarious situation.What I’m talking about is being told that, “Oh,it’s not your time,” “You’re not looking hard enough or in the right places” orthe classic “You just haven’t met the right one yet!” Notice how those sayingsuch phrases fail to get to the root of the problem, and if there is a problem,it’s with you? Such a mentality may have worked when one reached legal drinkingage, but when people still tell you that when you’re in your late 20’s andgetting into your 30’s, that’s dangerous drivel. If you keep that mentality, atthat rate, you ask, “when?” When you’re on your death bed? Then for icing onthe sh*t cake, I hear that I have to stay positive, keep trying, keep my chin up,hang in there and to keep putting myself out there.
There’s really no strategy or lateral thinkinginvolved in that, is there? It’s just support of the same ol’, same ol’. Youknow what I’ve found out about people who say things like this? They don’t wantothers to be happy. So, why listen to them?
Why listen to people who advocate relationshipsand marriage when they have already gone through a divorce? What’s the point ofbeing under the impression that universities and shopping malls trump bars andclubs when all venues are equally bad for dating? Is it really wise to listento people that advocate single life one minute, then months later ask why you’renot in a relationship? Are people so clueless and in denial about the elephantin the room?
I wonder if older generations of Americans are evenaware that chivalry is dead and that there are more hang-ups about gender rolesin the United States than in any other country. At least half of all marriagesin the U.S. nowadays end in divorce. Because of a biased court system, 90% ofdivorces are initiated by women and 90% of the time, the child custody goes towomen. It’s pretty sad that the success of a relationship pretty much dependson the flip of a coin. I’ll bet they’re having a hard time accepting thereality that younger generations are waiting until later in life to get marriedor are not getting married at all.
More Americans, particularly men, are reachingtheir breaking point and are starting to give less than a sh*t about dating.They see that it is such a demoralizing activity that is not worth the time,money or effort as there is no incentive. Many have been hurt and are lonely asa result of the damage dating has done. Some are even trapped in a well oftheir own depression. At least they are cutting their losses and looking outfor number one.
A growing number of American men are refusing toaccept the American way of relationships by seeing that the grass is greener onthe other side. They are jumping ship. Not only have they reached theirbreaking point, but they are doing something about the problem. Conscious ofthe fact that there is a unlevel playing field in American dating, are heading overseasto date and are having much more success than they ever had back home. Heck,some are even coming back with legitimate marriage partners.
An awakening is happening and it is revealingthat one’s destiny is determined by choice, not chance. This is definitely truein dating. It is much more logical to play the odds in your favor than wait forHalley’s Comet to fly by and give you the thumbs up. The reward is in theaction, not inaction that you take. I, like many other men, just want to be ina happy relationship and I have taken the steps towards that kind of happiness; it's really not too much to ask.
I was told at a very young age that nicenessmeant something, but that turned out to be a complete horsesh*t lie. I triedbeing someone I was not, by putting up a front and playing games, but thatproved to be awkward and unnatural. If I were to resume dating stateside, Iwould have to lower my standards. Then I remember what a train wreck the lastAmerican woman I dated was. Dating in the U.S. is a joke that nobody laughs at.